Broken Silence Read online

  “Regardless, the man has a right to his opinion. He doesn’t support his son’s lifestyle. The church says it’s wrong. He figures two men together like that ain’t natural.”

  “We’re not talking about this at the dinner table. It’s not appropriate, Daniel.”

  Rich met Lora’s gaze. She was frowning at him, but he couldn’t tell why. He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t want to say anything. It was clear how his dad felt, but he wasn’t surprised at that. He’d heard it before, and he’d probably hear it again. It might not be appropriate dinner conversation but it didn’t stop his uncles from talking about it at the bar. Hell, he’d joined in a time or two.

  It wasn’t natural for two men to be together. Well, didn’t get any clearer than that, did it?

  Chapter Three

  Matthew checked his watch for the fourth time in the past half hour. He was dying to get out of the hospital and it seemed like the fates were conspiring to make the day pass as slowly as possible. He was due to get off shift in another hour, and he had just enough time to get home and spend some time with his parents before he started the long drive south to Toronto.

  He couldn’t wait. The past week had been shitty, and he just wanted to get out of here. Luckily he’d booked this weekend off well in advance so he could go back home for a few days. Considering he was going to work through the holidays next week, it was the least they could do. Everyone was just happy enough that he was going to work Christmas and New Year’s that the other nurses on the unit had been treating him like gold lately.

  He already had a show booked for tomorrow night and he planned on spending the entire weekend with his friends. He felt slightly bad about not spending time with his parents, but they’d arrived last night and he’d managed to take them out to dinner without Aunt Adeline there, so they’d been able to catch up. His mom wasn’t happy about him missing their visit, but his dad had been able to calm her down. Luckily. She was a hellion when she got upset.

  His parents had offered to stay with Aunt Adeline this weekend so he could take a break and go south.

  Matthew checked his watch again, before heading over to the desk. Things sure were different around here, but it didn’t mean he was any less busy. The Temiskaming Hospital couldn’t be any more of a departure from his previous job. When he graduated from the University of Toronto and became a registered nurse he’d been working at SickKids, The Hospital for Sick Children. It was one of the premier hospitals in the entire country, with over 58,000 patients a year going through the Emergency Department. The metropolitan area of Toronto that they drew from had over 5.5 million residents.

  In contrast, the small hospital located in New Liskeard had fifty-nine beds. Between the city of Temiskaming Shores and the surrounding area, they served a community of about 25,000 people in total.

  While SickKids was a series of buildings located in the middle of urban Toronto, the Temiskaming Hospital was a small, one-story brown brick building located in a forested area on the edge of New Liskeard.

  A departure? Yeah. A shock to the system when he moved north? Without a doubt.

  He wasn’t sure if he was cut out for this life. His aunt wasn’t going to live forever, after all. That may be horrible to think, but she was eighty-five. Eventually something was going to happen to either have her move into a nursing home, or move on permanently.

  He reached the nursing station where Betty was currently hunched over an x-ray. She was wearing a pair of shocking pink scrubs over a long-sleeved white tee. Matthew himself was in a pair of navy scrubs with a baby blue long-sleeved tee, so they were doing their genders proud today. Both wore runners, although hers were predictably pink.

  The older woman snickered when she noticed him. “What do you think this is?” she asked.

  Matthew took a glance at the x-ray. “Geez, please tell me we didn’t get a visit by Mr. Rock again.”

  “Sorry, no can do.”

  “What is it this time?” He studied the x-ray. There was obviously an obstruction in his rectum, but Matthew couldn’t quite identify what the large circular object was.

  “A cue ball.” Betty giggled, making her seem about half her age. It was a little disconcerting considering the older woman looked like a younger version of Mrs. Claus. Her long salt and pepper hair was always pulled back in a bun and she wore thin wire frames over her warm hazel eyes. He guessed she was in her mid to late fifties, considering what he knew about the age of her six sons. Betty was comfortably round, and was a favorite of any kid that entered the unit.

  She also had a ribald sense of humor. Like a lot of nurses he’d met, actually. He figured it either came with the job or he’d just been lucky in his admittedly short career.

  Matthew winced. “Seriously?” He stared at the image. Yeah, he could see the cue ball now. Geez.

  Betty shook her head with a frown. “It’s not as bad as the vase, unfortunately. I lost out on the bet. I guessed a bottle of shampoo would be next.”

  “I lost out too. I bet it would be a live animal.” He sighed and pulled up a chair to sit next to her. Checking out the counter in front of him he spotted his purple pen sitting beside Betty’s neon yellow stethoscope. Hey, he thought he’d lost that. Story of his nursing life. Lose a pen, find a pen, lose a pen, find a pen...

  “Well, I could have told you that you wouldn’t win with that. He’s never gone for anything alive before.”

  “Well, live and learn. Do you know who won?”

  “Marjie is trying to say she’s picking it up, but I don’t think she should. She clearly stated tennis ball. A cue ball is not the same thing as a tennis ball.”

  Matthew winced. Either up his ass would probably leave a mark. “Huh. Well, thanks for not calling me.”

  “He was asking for Marjie, anyway. Poor girl.”

  That poor girl was in her late thirties. Considering Matthew was just barely mid-twenties, he wasn’t sure what they called him.

  “Huh. Yeah, that would suck.”

  “So, you have a day to change your bet. We’re starting fresh again tomorrow. I figure we should update it to bet on what day of the week he’ll come in, too.”

  “No fair. You all have more information to go on than I do. I’ve only been here since April. You’ve been dealing with Mr. Rock for years.”

  “True. But, that just makes it fun, doesn’t it?”

  Since the old man came in about twice a month with something obstructing his rectum, Matthew wasn’t sure it was fun for anyone but Mr. Rock, but he’d go along with Betty for now.

  “Any inside scoop to help?”

  “Matthew, dear. You haven’t won once. I’m not helping you.”

  He grinned. They bet on a free dinner for anyone who guessed what the right object would be. Everyone who entered a bet chipped in a toonie. They had quite the pool of money right now considering the old man liked to vary the things he “fell on”. He wasn’t fooling anyone.

  Ah, the joys of working at a hospital.

  Luckily the rest of his shift passed by quickly enough. It was a five hour drive under good conditions, but naturally things weren’t going to go right on his weekend off so he didn’t get to his friend’s apartment in East York, Toronto, until nearly midnight.

  Predictably, his phone rang just as he reached Danforth. He pressed the cell phone button on his car dash. Thanks to Ontario’s distracted driving laws, he wasn’t allowed to pick it up. Naturally, the car manufacturers had found a nifty way of getting around that and encouraging safe drivers to spend a bucket of money on something new and shiny. They sure knew which buttons to press on him, at least.

  “I’m five minutes away, Andrew,” he said instead of saying hello. He didn't even need to check to know who it would be. His phone gave a beep that signaled low power. Well, shit.

  “Okay. I’ll meet you down there in a minute.”

  Man, he was tired. He pulled into the underground parking of the building and slid neatly into Andrew’s assigned slot. His frie
nd didn’t have a car, but it didn’t matter since he was so close to the Danforth GO station.

  “Matthew!” Andrew came running toward his car as soon as he got out. He was taller than Matthew by a few inches, but otherwise the two could be twins. Andrew had light brown hair he kept closely cropped and a dimpled face that made him seem perpetually happy and innocent. At least until he opened his mouth.

  They met in a jarring impact at the back bumper, both dissolving into giggles.

  "Two months until Vegas! Party!" Andrew shouted.

  They were heading to Las Vegas in February with a bunch of their friends and he couldn't wait. Matthew needed more than just a weekend free in Toronto. He needed a week where he did nothing but drink, gamble, see shows and check out the abs and acts.

  Andrew finally released him and made a big deal of walking completely around Matthew.

  “Well, you seem to be intact. How’s life in the boonies?”

  “It’s not that bad.” Matthew rolled his eyes. They’d been friends forever, but even he acknowledged that Andrew had a bad case of “Toronto rules and everything else sucks”.

  “Well, whatever, bitch. We’ll get you all fixed up this weekend. I’ve already got tomorrow planned down to the half hour. We’re going to go shopping so you can touch nice things again, then we have the theatre tomorrow night and I thought we’d make sure to throw in a few good restaurants at the same time. You must be dying to walk into an actual store.”

  “They have stores in Northern Ontario.” Matthew grabbed his bag from the trunk and followed Andrew to the elevator to go to his apartment.

  “Please. I’ve been there. You’ve got a Wal-Mart.” Andrew shuddered. “And that thing they call a mall is just pathetic. It took us two minutes to walk down the entire thing and all it had going for it was that cute guy at the lottery stand.”

  Matthew grinned. “Yeah, he was cute.”

  “Do you need to get laid?” Andrew asked as they left the elevator and walked down the hall to his place.

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.”

  Andrew stopped dead before his door. “Sweetie, you can’t possibly be fine. I’ll find you a nice boy tomorrow night and you can work everything out before you have to go back to that hick town.”

  “Who said I haven’t already met a nice boy? And stop calling it a hick town.”

  “Oooh. You met someone? In Temiskaming Shores?”

  Andrew led the way into his place, giving Matthew a moment to study the new décor. Andrew had a habit of changing up his accessories every year. He wasn’t sure what to think of the red, white and black colour scheme but he knew instantly that he didn’t care for the zebra rug under the black leather couch, or the cow skin beside the small dining table. Was that a chandelier? Yep, an honest to God blinged out fancy chandelier, complete with hanging jewels, hung over the simple two seater metal table. The bar stools were predictably zebra print.

  “Holy crap, Andy.” He studied the red leather chair before picking up the red old-fashioned phone beside it. “Does this call Batman?”

  Andrew waved his hand. “Don’t change the subject. You met someone?”

  Matthew dropped his overnight bag beside the Batphone and sat down on the leather couch. “Kind of.”

  He could see that wasn’t going to be enough for his friend. Matthew sighed. “I’m not sure. I hooked up with this guy last weekend.”

  “And?”

  “And, we hooked up.” He still wasn’t sure what had happened, so he couldn’t give Andrew the details he wanted. He wasn’t sure how he felt about blowing Rich the way he had.

  “Are you going to see him again?”

  Not likely. Rich hadn’t called Matthew all week. Not that he’d been sitting by his phone waiting for Rich to call him or anything. No, not at all. He snorted. He wasn’t sure why he was so captivated by the bar owner. Rich was an asshole. A closeted asshole who probably regretted what they did as soon as they did it.

  So, why was Matthew so interested in repeating the event? He wasn’t some pathetic loser who needed a guy. He wasn’t someone who was ruled by his dick. He was perfectly fine going months with just his hand. Hell, he’d done it when he first moved up north.

  Well, after he got over the whole mental taboo of masturbating in his aunt’s house.

  Regardless, he wasn’t desperate. He didn’t need to be with Rich. But, there was something about the other man that called to him. He wanted to know more about him. Matthew wanted to discover why he was the way he was. Rich hadn’t faked his excitement last week. Matthew felt kind of sorry for him that he couldn’t be comfortable enough in his own skin to be out and proud. He wasn’t sure why, although he could guess after living in the place for the length of time he had. He’d heard enough gay jokes in six months to last him for a lifetime.

  Not that everyone in the entire town was bigots. Matthew knew better than to take a few comments in a bar, where everyone was drinking liquor, as an indication of what the greater population thought. He just had to think of Betty Brogan to dispel that notion. She had a gay son and was constantly talking about what he was doing now that he’d moved away. The other nurses were all open-minded too.

  No, it was more like there was a small, but vocal, percent of the population that figured it was okay to make jokes and say things. Rich’s friends and some of his family just happened to sit within that group. No wonder the guy couldn’t acknowledge, even to himself, that he was gay.

  Or maybe he was bisexual. Whatever. Matthew just wanted to know if they could have a repeat of last weekend. He wasn’t going to wait around forever, but he couldn’t deny that he’d enjoyed himself. If he had the opportunity again, he’d probably grab it.

  As long as he kept his emotions out of it. He had a feeling he could be hurt badly by Rich if he let himself get too serious.

  Was he going to see him again? Matthew shrugged and decided to answer Andrew’s question. “I don’t know. He’s not exactly out.”

  “No. I forbid it. You are not going to be seeing someone in the closet.” Andrew put his hands on his hips.

  Matthew would have laughed but he knew his friend would take it the wrong way. “Andrew.”

  “I’m serious. There is no way in hell I’m letting you waste yourself on some closeted lumberjack from nowheresville.”

  “It’s not your decision.”

  “That’s it.” Andrew grabbed the Batphone. “I’m calling an intervention.”

  “It’s after midnight.”

  “Amanda will be up still. She was going to come over anyway.”

  Amanda was Andrew’s twin and one of Matthew's best friends. They’d all grown up beside each other in Brampton. When it was time for University, the three had ended up getting an apartment in downtown Toronto rather than live on campus. Amanda was a fellow nurse while Andrew was a kickass promoter.

  Matthew decided to take advantage of Andrew’s momentary distraction by taking his overnight bag into the bedroom he always used when he was here. The familiar red futon met his gaze, and he was relieved that there was no animal print in this room. A red, white, black and yellow geometric rug was placed on the bamboo floor and the room was furnished with a simple desk and set of bookshelves. He stuck his head out the bedroom door and took another glance at the horrid cow rug. He was pretty sure that was an actual skin. Gross. He wasn’t walking on it.

  Well, whatever this weekend brought, he was glad for the chance to get away from Temiskaming. He didn’t think he could completely run away from his thoughts about Rich, but he was going to try. Maybe he should take up Andrew on his idea to get him laid. It was better than waiting around for some guy to call. And maybe it would get his mind off the other man for once.

  ***

  “Hey. This is Matthew, leave a message.”

  Rich hung up the phone before the beep could sound. He sat staring at the phone for a moment before letting out a curse. What was he waiting for? He hadn’t been able to stop thinking of the guy for
a week now. He’d managed to last the entire week without once picking up the phone. It had been a burning need at the back of his brain but he’d been able to resist because he knew Matthew would be in for his regular night out. But, he hadn’t been. It was the sight of the table full of nurses with no Matthew in sight that had finally gotten past Rich’s control. He’d had to wait until the bar closed before making the phone call, so he should just get this over with.

  He dialed the number again.

  “Hey, this is Matthew, leave a message.”

  “Hey, uh, this is Rich. I, uh, I guess you're working or something. You weren't in tonight—last night?—with the nurses. I was just thinking that maybe, if you wanted to, later... If you dropped by the bar, I mean. I wouldn't mind that. Right, so, bye.”

  He hung up the phone before he could make more of an ass of himself. What the hell was he doing? Could he sound any dumber?

  Rich flopped back on his bed, determined to put it out of his mind until Matthew called. Then they could laugh it off or something. He hated talking on the phone. With a sigh, Rich closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

  When Saturday came and went and Matthew still hadn’t called him back by Sunday, he figured he definitely did look like an idiot. What the fuck? It had been his idea to give Rich his phone number. And then he doesn’t answer it or call him back? What was up with that? Had the whole thing been a joke to him? Was he somewhere sitting with his friends making fun of Rich for calling?

  Now he looked stupider than a three peckered billy goat. Well, whatever. He wasn’t going to be calling him again. Rich just didn’t get it.

  “Come on, Big Dick. I’m dying of thirst here,” Doobie yelled out.

  Rich sighed and picked up the three beers he’d finished pouring. “Fuck off. You’ll get them when I bring them.”

  He set them down in front of his boys before taking a seat at their table. Sunday’s were always a little quieter so he could sit down without getting a lecture. He tuned into the TV to watch the recap of last night’s games.

  “Oh, come on,” Etienne growled at the screen. “That was a shit play last night and it’s still a shit play today.”